Why do so many divorcing parents make the mistake of letting emotion override their common sense about what to do with the house? You are headed for serious trouble if you think you absolutely have to keep the house at all costs (even if you cannot afford it) or the children will lose stability and their sense of security during and after your divorce.
Do not fall into that trap! Your fear during divorce for your children’s wellbeing will be their (and your) undoing. Reassess your thinking and be financially smart for the long term.
The reality is wholesome, quality parenting creates children of divorce who are stable and healthy. All things equal, children will fair far worse in a house with a parent who is emotionally or physically absent because he or she works three jobs to pay the mortgage and keep the lights on, than children who live in an apartment with a caring and available parent who can reasonably afford rent and has enough money left over to go to the movies and take a vacation with them.
If you know you are an attentive parent, then stop worrying. The children need you after divorce, not the house.
And if that reasoning is not enough to convince you to give up the house (and get your share of the equity in cash on divorce), then ask yourself this: What would happen to your plan for children’s stability and security if you keep the house in the divorce but you lose it to foreclosure later because you refused to acknowledge at the time that you would not be able to afford it?